Learning to love my hair

I’ve been natural for almost 6 years now. However, when most people see me they think I’ve just done the BC (big chop). My natural hair story began in October 2004, the last time I got a relaxer. In December 2004 I decided I would not get another relaxer. My hair stylist thought I was crazy because my hair was too thick (“it’s like a mop,” she would sometimes say) and because I am totally unskilled in the matters of hair, she believed there was no way I’d be able to control my hair. Despite that, I moved forward in my journey. It took me 1 year and 2 months to completely transition. It was February 2006 when the last of my relaxer was clipped from my hair. During this time, I wore my hair in micro-braids, rods, corn rolls and sometimes got it blow dried straight. I liked the protective styles (braids, rods, etc.), because it was easy to manage and it was like a horror movie trying to deal with the two different textures of hair. Then the unthinkable happened…..my stylist, who’d been doing my hair since high school, was moving to Georgia. What was I going to do? Back to braids, it was. For almost a year straight, I wore my hair in braids because I couldn’t find anyone to do my hair the way I wanted. As soon as I sat in most stylists’ chair and they’d touch my hair, that familiar face would soon show, followed by the question, “do you want a relaxer?” If not that, I had to pay extra to have my hair blow dried straight because I had natural hair. I never understood (and still don’t) the rationale behind charging someone extra because they don’t have a relaxer! After a few years of frustration, I finally found a stylist, in Chicago, that did natural hair (I was referred to her by another natural sister that wore her hair straight). Even though my hair was natural, I still continued to wear it straight or in rods, because I still hadn’t figure how to fight that beast of humidity or sweat that would make my hair swell up to an untamed afro.

Fast forward to July 2009, I saw a picture of Halle Berry’s pixie cut and less than a week later I was sitting in my stylist’s chair getting my hair cut. With scissors in hand, she kept saying, “are you sure you want to cut your hair that short?” I was positive and confident in my decision. I figured its only hair so it’ll grow back. So as I’m sitting looking at all my hair on the floor I’m thinking, “Damn, maybe that wasn’t such a good idea.” But when she turned me towards the mirror I couldn’t help but smile because this cut looked good on me. This style usually only lasted a week before my roots would wave up so after that I’d wet it and just wear it in its curly state. After about 7 months, I was tired, not of the cut, but getting my hair blow dried straight. So I returned to my dependable braids. As my frustration continued to build I knew there was something that had to be done about my hair and my ability to take control of it. Enter the world of YouTube and natural hair care blogs. And thank God I discovered them because I begin to learn so much about natural hair, which led to my own research on what worked for my hair, different hair care products, different styling techniques, etc. I’ve never read so many books and done so much research I felt like I’m back in grad school working on my master’s degree project. But I realize that caring for my hair is mine to own and no one is responsible for it but me. It’s still a work in progress and I continue with my research, trying different products and regularly logging onto different forums and blogs, as well as checking out YouTube.

I’ve never been as happy in my hair life as I am right now. My family and friends have begin to call and e-mail me about what to use in their hair, why their hair looks a certain way, what oils works and why and the list goes on and on. And not to mention, I’m becoming a pro at mixing stuff together for my hair using the stuff in my kitchen. While I am happy where I am now, I do wish I had this knowledge and known about the different forums and blogs, like Curly Nikki, in the past. This would have prevented years of hair frustration and hating my hair because I didn’t know what to do with it. So now I am wearing my hair short, in its natural state, and caring for it while it grows out. I used to think I am not my hair because I didn’t believe my hair defined who I was but I realize now that YES I am my hair, because it is everything that I am…..strong, confident, bold, natural and beautiful.

Here’s a few pictures of my hair over the years (in each photos where my hair is straight I don’t have a relaxer, instead it was blow dried straight.)

Me today